Problems

I waste so much time and I can't manage to organize my schedule successfully
I am very lazy and give up easily.
I overthink most of the things I have to do and I get stressed by that and also I fear physical connection and I hate it when someone touches me I feel so weird and disgusted because I fear diseases that may come with it even if they wear bugs or hair or sweat I hate it.
I try every time to control that i succeed for sometime but it comes eventually
and I get distracted easily because I usually attend to finish more then one task in one time so I lose so much time and never give it all of me
I am a very messy person and so lazy I can't keep certain routine which I previously planned to fix my issues.
and I attend to spend a lot of money especially on clothes and decor and useless stuff. which I will regret later
I get blinded by it.
I am a reckless person most of the time I get to thing of things but some other times I don't think at all because I depend on my instincts and I honestly love that about myself even if people think I am so rush and reckless.
I like to take the step for new adventures but I fear to take it alone.
and I hate that I take the people words and talk about me and believe it.
and that crushes my dreams.
I hate the limits (social, money, study, family, friends, our society's way of thinking...) and I want to brake them but I don't and i don't know the right way to that.
and most of the lime I feel like i am runnig in a circle and I feel lost and I dan't know what to do or what I want to do as a job? or what to study? what to chose? what is best for me? what are my best qualities? how can I emprove them and use them succesfully? I am lost really!!